As usual, Alicia Keys has been ultimately a phenomenal women. She continues to prove that. Her new album, The Element of Freedom, is beautiful. Its raw and pure. I've been listening to it all day and each time, i feel it even more. The semester is over and it ended with some devastating news... and I'm not sure if its all the time I have on my hand to do nothing but think or what, but I have been a huge pool of emotions. Its so hard to be strong when everything inside is falling apart. And I keep thinking that I just can't wait for this year to end so that I can begin fresh... but I won't actually be able to close chapters and begin new because there is this one thing that has a hold on me. I know that sooner or later its going to pop out of no where. Even though its cool now and quiet... I know that sooner than later... its going to revive itself...
The Element Of Freedom... my element of freedom. And I wonder will I ever be free? The element of freedom in my own definition would be the ability to release everything that hinders you from fulfilling your full potential. Letting go of insecurities, past tragedies, defeats, and anything or everyone who tries to pull you down. Or maybe its the ability of finding your very own freedom in the midst of the calamity. Being able to completely separate yourself. However, what if there are things that refuse to let go of you and that thing comes in like a thief and thrives to steal all that you are? Tries to break you apart and ruin you in every way possible.
Honestly, I am afraid. Afraid of so many things. Afraid to walk away but afraid to stay put and face it. Afraid to feel, trust, believe. Afraid to open up, afraid to shell up. Afraid to love, afraid to hurt. Afraid to be happy because I know that its so easy to be torn down. Afraid to move forward but definitely don't want to go back and I know that I can't stay here.
... and I feel alone in all of this. And sadly I am.... Funny... I am literally living on my own little quotes right now. I keep repeating them over and over and successfully, I've made it through another day.
Failure is not an Option. Stop searching and everything you're looking for will find you. The beauty of the sunshine is never fully appreciated without periods of total darkness. Someday, it will all make sense, and it will all be worth it. "I'll risk the fall just to know how it feels to fly"-AKeys "Smile when your heart is broken"-OBatiste
Never give up. You have no idea how many people look up and admire your strength.