"I'll always be here... I promise."

Ever since that cold, June night, I've thought of you every single day. The hardest part of growing up was not having you here to share every moment with. Graduating from pre-k, elementary, highschool, and beginning college. At times I was so angry with you. I kept saying you were suppose to be here. You were suppose to be here for every performance, relationship, every fall, every tear. The worst thing is knowing that you won't be here to give me away. You won't be here to dance with me. You won't be here to teach my children all that you taught me. You won't be here to meet my husband.

There were times when I felt so alone and all I wanted was for you to be here because you were the only person who ever understood me. If I could get that night back, I would have held on to you and never let go. I would have tucked you in and sung you to sleep. I would have never left. I should have never left. All my life I've wanted to change that night. I've been so hurt, confused, and angry with you. I had so much ambivalence in my heart.

Yesturday, dad, you proved me wrong.

You've always been here and you always show up at the right time.

So many have told that you were always here. I took that so lightly. They didn't understand.

But you are.

At my worst moments, you're there. I'll here our song or I'll see those yellow butterflies(even in winter) that we use to chase. I'll here your favorite songs. At my best moments, someone random brings you up. When I started college, I saw a guy that looked just like you. Every now and then I see him. At my worst moments, I meet people who use to work with you. They tell me the best stories. Everyone has dreams about you telling them to check on me. My bestfriend also lost her father at the same time I lost you. I know that we were placed in each others life for a reason. I met someone... we were walking one day, and in complete silence, we looked at each other and laughed, just like we use to do. I guess you approve. :)

I remember when we were sitting on the bayou fishing. You looked at me and said, "No matter what, never stop smiling Honey B. Just be happy."

I'll never stop smiling.

I know you're here now and you always will be. Thank you for never leaving.

I miss you so much. I love you daddy.